My original plan was to fuss about how stand-offish and cliquish southern baptists "typically" are, but then the Lord went and taught me a lesson, so... I was having a hard time with our "community group," also known as small groups in some circles, called "cg's" by our church. I just felt like we were on the outside, not really accepted or even wanted in this group that's somehow supposed to fulfill the sense of community which we can't actually get it at church, cause church is too big. So, I was just feeling like an outsider....again....in a southern baptist church....which made me really fussy because I feel like I've already been through this way too many times. But we're committed to the church, for lots of reasons (one of which is their take on evangelism), and I had decided that I was going to just suck it up, and play nice, because we'd eventually find some folks that we click with.
But then last night at cg, one of the girls opens WAY up, and tells us about the SUPER hard time she and her hubby are having right now, which TOTALLY explains their stand-offishness.... And another girl goes into some difficult times she's been through lately. And it hits me like a ton of bricks: "Oh yeah...they're broken, just like me." They don't have it all together. They aren't being ugly. They're just hurting, bleeding all over the place emotionally. And yet selfish, small-minded me takes it personally.
Sheesh....when will I learn? Makes me think that maybe, just maybe, it's not about southern baptists' die-hard habits...it's about my unwillingness to extend grace and just plain old "time to warm up" to people who need it, just like I do. These lessons are good for me. Help me get outside my head, and remember that it's just not all about me...I'm afraid I forget that way too often. I give you a new commandment – to love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. Everyone will know by this that you are my disciples – if you have love for one another. John 13:34-35
4 comments:
Shannon, I love this post. Weird...cause I was thinking about this today...how we are so quick to judge people when we have no idea what they're going through. And we always take it personally, don't we? But I know I've been misundersood at times, and it makes me want to be sensitive to others...first, that, c'mon they aren't really trying to go out of their way to not like me, but that they have got problems just like I do.
Sometimes I want to put a big sign on my shirt that says, "Don't mind me...I'm seriously preoccupied with the trials in my life right now. I want to function like I should in the body but it's hard right now. Please forgive me."
Point is, you never know what people are going through. We have to be patient and long-sufferring and hope they'll do the same for us.
Thanks for the post! Glad things are looking up. I'm excited for you.
It is so funny how common this problem is. There is a girl here that I have known for a while who started acting like she did not like me. I was all sensitive about it until one day a few of us went to the park and she started talking about what a hard time she is having with everything. Once again it is not all about me. Imagine that!
So true, girls! I keep waiting to grow out of this habit, but I think it's more of me making a concerted effort to STOP the thoughts once they begin...
I'd like a shirt like that, too, Laur...when we were at our old church, I really just wanted one that said "I'm feeling kinda pissy today. Sorry." But nobody would have been able to handle that, and well, it's just ugly, right?
It snowed today here...how crazy is that??
makes me wonder how often i seem stand-offish.
crazy that you got snow!
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